Ask an expert
Question

10 Dec 2005

Lost in Love
I have been in love with a straight friend for a long time. I cannot shake him off. Sometime I am successful and then a few weeks later it haunts me again; how long must it carry on for its been so long already ?
Answer 393 views
Expert
Gay, lesbian and bisexual expert
gay, lesbian and bisexual expert

01 Jan 0001

Hi Lost and thanks for posting here.

We can't always choose who we love, but we all have the capacity to realise that some relationships are not functional for us.

How long this relationship carries on for is entirely up to you - you are not a powerless 'victim' without choices in this scenario. You need to find a way to end the relationship, as you define it - even if it is somewhat one-sided. Your feelings for this guy are probably keeping you from meeting other guys and forming other (potentially more rewarding) relationships.

If you continue to feel powerless to resolve this, I suggest you consult a gay-friendly counsellor. The Gay & Lesbian Helpline (call 021 422 2500, any day between 1pm and 9pm) may be able to recommend a counsellor in your area.

The information provided does not constitute a diagnosis of your condition. You should consult a medical practitioner or other appropriate health care professional for a physical examination, diagnosis and formal advice. Health24 and the expert accept no responsibility or liability for any damage or personal harm you may suffer resulting from making use of this content.