Ask an expert
Question

22 Feb 2013

Love &amp  expression
I want to know: is loving someone a choice or is the way you express your love for someone a choice?

What i mean is: if you are in love with someone, do you choose an acceptable way to express it or do you set an emotional boundary to prevent yourself from loving the person.

For example, if you have care for a boy but he is lets say married but you like his company and want to be good friends. if you both agree that you care for each other and are clear that there is only friendship is that ok or is it dangerous?

Answer 510 views
Expert
CyberShrink
cybershrink

01 Jan 0001

A complicated question. We may have relaively little control over our primary emotions ( love or like, dislike, etc ( but we DO have the ability and responsibility to control our actions in how we react to those feelings.
Now, if you care about someone who is married, you KNOW beyond any possible doubt that if he is happy to see you, he is cheating on his wife and will be just as ready, in time, to cheat on you. He cannot possibly be the only person on earth whose company you can enjoy. And its really foolish to fool yourselves into thinking that you can just be good friends, without this turning into something closer. It won't remain "only friendship". Of course its risky. If your "friendship" was to be so inncent, of course you'd both be happy about telling his wife all about it, and inviting her along ? IF not, this proves that you KNOW there would be something wrong with it.
What you're thinking of WILL end badly and sadly all round. Rather leave him alone and find soneone who has not promised himself to someone else, and who cares ONLY about you
The information provided does not constitute a diagnosis of your condition. You should consult a medical practitioner or other appropriate health care professional for a physical examination, diagnosis and formal advice. Health24 and the expert accept no responsibility or liability for any damage or personal harm you may suffer resulting from making use of this content.