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15 Mar 2007

Mad convo
SHE:
but Rade, no offense, but i think you like the idea of this symbolic struggle
i think it would be better if there was someone working through it with you!

RADE:
its not that, but i know whats going on with me
i was so used to getting pain
it became a fixation
does that more or less explain it?

SHE:
no... it explains why you need to work through issues, but it doesnt explain why you need to do that alone

RADE:
no, it explains why i am used to having pain around me
and why i thrive on it
like an addiction

SHE:
yes, you thrive on pain
but Rade, the way to work through that pain is with someone
by pushing people away it causes more pain
you need to work through the pain to get somewhere better

RADE:
i know
i know it clear
but you made a comment on i like being in pain
its just that i feel satisfied if i punish myself
because i feel i deserve it
like other people would cut themselves with blades
same thing

SHE:
you cut yourself off from the world

RADE:
yes
i eat alone, i think alone

SHE:
i get that Rade, i really do
but that needs to STOP
if you are every going to get over it

RADE:
doubt i will
its become me
but not your worries dear
Answer 428 views
Expert
Gay, lesbian and bisexual expert
gay, lesbian and bisexual expert

01 Jan 0001

Hi again Rade and thanks for this post. Which sounds somewhat like a "Dear Diary...." entry, as though you're communicating or negotiating something with yourself. To which you know the answer. Why a 'She' voice? Besides alluding to a female therapist, could this be a mother voice?
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