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07 Dec 2004

Marriage problems
hi Doc

My problem is my manipulating husband, or that is how i see him anyways.
he was brought up to believe that a wife should be obediant to her husband, but i now don't have a life of my own at all. Everything he says is law and I'm forced to do things I don't really want to, but if I object then I'm not "following the rules of marriage". Is this normal? Everytime there's some extra money left from the budget he buys himself something nice, saying its for both of us, but if i want something then I'm selfish. I was already told that this yaer there won't be enough money to buy me a nice Christmas and birthday present. Maybe it's because he bought himself a R20 000 present...
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Expert
CyberShrink
cybershrink

01 Jan 0001

I wonder who wrote those "rules of marriage" he's referring to -- a slave master a couple of hundred years ago ? Welcome to the 21st century --- I wonder whether your husband will find the courage to join us in the same century ? He sounds childish, greedy and selfish, and not fit to be anyone's husband. In a proper marriage, you shouldn't both be so aware of how much more he earns --- it ought to be seen as a shared budget, not something for him to lavish on himself. Maybe your own Christmas present for yourself should be to consult a divorce lawyer, and at least think about your options. Why would one want to stay married to a selfish child ?
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