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19 Jul 2005

Messed up family (long)
I have recently noticed things with my siblings that I can see in myself aswell. I have 2 brothers and 1 sister, i am the youngest (21).

I have been dealing with SO many mental challenges for the past few years.
No self esteem, lack of confidence, no people skills, negative thinking all the time etc etc.
I started getting violent when I couldn't express myself - even hitting my hubby :0( Slamming doors and anything that will slam.
I realised that I had a problem and am now trying to rectify all that went wrong so I can be a better person and wife.

Maybe it is because I have realised I have a problem, that I have noticed things about my family?...
... My oldest brother is going thru a divorce now - he seems to just keep everything inside all the time. He talks to my other brother alot - but Im not sure that he even tells him everything?

My sister's hubby was recently away for 2weeks - she is used to having him around all the time. She was SO depressed while he was away. Balling her eyes out just about every day, she really couldn't cope without him there.
Surely that is not normal - there seems to be no stability or logical reasoning?

My other brother I can see a huge change in him in the past year or 2? He is now getting violent - i guess like i was - throwing things, breaking doors cellphones etc etc. Fighting all the time with his wife - no self control.

We are all very emotional people.

We were brought up in a very Christian home - christian morals and values etc. Now its really just my sister that is still VERY religious. We are also all intelligent people i think. And we are a very close family.
My mom is very quiet though, never stood up to my dad. My parents NEVER fought as far as i can remember.
I could never be open with them. I always felt like I would let them down if i did anything they would not approve of.
But they never ever said anything bad. They were encouraging and loving and supported us to the extremes!
They emigrated 2 years ago - and everything seemed to get screwed up then?
Maybe it just seems that way - because alot has changed since then - i got married and we all have our own families etc etc. So things were bound to change.

Is there something obviously missing in our lives to make us unstable?
It maybe feels like we weren't prepared for the stresses of life - like we were too protected maybe? Because life is SO Stressful - money especially

Some advice please?
Answer 374 views
Expert
CyberShrink
cybershrink

01 Jan 0001

Sounds like you ( maybe other family menbers too, but that's their affair ) would benefit at least from some good counselling, to learn better ways to identify and handle the stresses of life, and to deal with matters of self-esteem and confidence.
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