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Question

15 Aug 2007

Mindgame?
I have been married for 4 and a half yrs to a guy who has an 8yr old daughter with his xgirlfriend and he is not allowed to talk to the child, see her nor financially contribute anything. We have 2 of or own kids.
I know the issue with his elder daughter is bugging him but I have tried everything I can to talk to the mom. But she wants nothing to do with my hubby and any involvement in the child's life.
My husband mentioned to me yesterday that he seems to be living his life according to my way and that he gets the message that I do not care. That there are thing that I can do for him but am not doing them and that I seem to have taken authority by power thus making him fell like he is not a good leader and that I do not submit to him.
Questions:
1. What is he really trying to say?
2. How can I respond to a situation like this?
3. What do I say to him?
Answer 346 views
Expert
CyberShrink
cybershrink

01 Jan 0001

Maybe it'd be wise to first of all chat to a lawyer to be sure he knows what rights he has ( and which he might not have ). As I understand it, the courts are required to concentrate on what would be best for the child, and thus tend to insist that a father be given access to his child, whether or not he pays maintenance, unless the mother can establish that his seeing the child would somehow be harmful to the child.
As to your second quesion, women should not ever have to feel they should "submit" to a man, and only a very insecure man expects this. But maybe what he mostly means is that you have tended to take over control and this makes him feel as though you don't respect his ability to get things done ? Would he be prepared to consider seeing a relationship counsellor with you, to sort out such issues ?
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