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17 Feb 2009

Moaning Husband
I don' t know where to start - my husband is driving me crazy with his moaning. I don' t know what to do anymore.

He just started a new job (internal Job rotation), he does not like the new job one bit, it is very pressurised, fast paced and huge responsibility. On top of that, he is in his second semester of B.Com.

A normal day starts like this - He wakes and starts moaning about how sh!t the job is, we travel together to save cost and the whole 40 min drive, he moans about his work or his studies, when we leave work it is the worst, he doesn' t even greet me in the car, he doesn' t even give me a chance to ask him " How was your day"  he just starts moaning. I don' t get a word sideways in.

It is so bad, I stopped talking to him and only keep our conversations to a minimum. Our sex life is down the drain.

I really do understand that settling in a job, where you have no choice, can be very stressfull, and that he is studying, but honestly speaking I find this moaning a waste of negative energy.

It is affecting me and I am scared that he will bring me down with him. I don' t know how to support him anymore. I gave him the best advise I could and support him when he has to work a bit late to catch up. I support him in his studies as I am also studying and always try to study with him. (to motivate him)

I just don' t know anymore - I feel everything is falling apart and I can' t fix it. I just can' t stand this moaning anymore - NOTHING is good enough. He can' t resign, he can' t quit his studies as we can' t afford to pay back the company for his studies.
Answer 453 views

01 Jan 0001

SO he is highly stressed at present, in a job where he feels insecure and unhappy --- and he responds, in part, by moaning to you ( maybe it doesn't feel safe to moan to anyone at work). Of course all that moaning is a waste of energy. Sometimes he just needs to vent, and an occasional "Oh, how awful!" and "YOu poor dear !" can be helpful --- one doesn't have to closely attend to all the venting. And occasionally, just quietly ask if there is any specific way in which you could help
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