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20 Jun 2011

MOM OLD AGE HOME
My mom is 73 yrs old, has macular degeneration, lives on her own. My sister stay 2 houses from her but works all day. I live in another town - 1 hours drive away. My mom is starting to develop health problems and wants to go to the doctor every week. My sister cannot take off work every time and I live too far and work too. When will it be appropriate to rather let my mom live in an old age home? What must the reasons be? Off course she does not want to go but we worry the whole time.
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Expert
CyberShrink
cybershrink

01 Jan 0001

Have you discussed this calmly and in depth with her ? Very few of us WANT to go to an old age home, but it can be a relief when, for instance, one's sight is unreliable, and one's safety at home is compromised. Presumably at most homes there would be easier access to a doctor, as she wants. Discuss with her what problems she now experiences, what she fears, how you both want to be close and in good contact with her, but how the realities of the situation limit that, but entry to a home would not diminish that, while helping her to be safer and more comfortable meanwhile ? She may be worried about what would happen to her own place and all her things ( some of accumulate a mountain of "stuff: as we go through life.
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