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Question

06 Feb 2009

More than I can handle....
I don' t know if you can help me with this situation. Some weeks ago I offered a man the use of my spare bedroom as he has lost his one man business and he has to vacate the house which he rented as well.

He wants to meet on the weekend to discuss moving in with me. I have lived on my own for just over 4 years and I am now not sure if I want to share my space with someone else. On the other hand I would feel bad for not helping this man.

I am not sure what to do!
Answer 339 views
Expert
CyberShrink
cybershrink

01 Jan 0001

He may need help, he may even deserve help --- but why should you be the person to supply it, by sacrificing your comfort and privacy ? Does he truly have no alternatives ? Do you know him well enough to be CERTAIN that he will not stay indefinitely or cause other problems ? You were rash in offering before you had thought this through. Learn the rule NEVER offer anything while assuming the other person won't accept --- only offer if you would be happy for them to accept.
At 70 + he may be harmless. Talk calmly and tactfully with him about how you hesitate due to not really knowing him, and valuing your privacy, and explore what plans he is making to move on from here. If this is time-limited, to a month or two, it may be more tolerable than if it is indefinite
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