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30 Jul 2005

mother-in-law agonies
My daughter's mother-in-law tends to be interfering. She'll take her son's side all the time. Where my husband and I try to look at the problem with the aim to find a solution for the two of them, she only sees the good in her son and nothing good in my daughter. She is on the whole a very domineering person and has a very quiet husband. Typical, as I know of quite a few domineering women who have taken men who can't say boo or baa. What is my daughter to do to not show the hatred she really feels for this woman as she has to visit her often with her husband and child?
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Expert
CyberShrink
cybershrink

01 Jan 0001

Sounds like a rather typical mother-in-law, and I gather that you, in your turn, are trying NOT to be a typical mother-in-law ! But if this young couple are having problems, wouldn't it be better for them NOT to discuss these with either of you ( to avoid getting the interfering MIL involved ) and instead to see a marriage counsellor, both to sort out current problems, and to learn how to sort things out on their own ? Then they can, explaining this to both pairs of parents, visit the interfering MIL without feeling any need to discuss any problems or even decisions they may be making, and thus make it a purely social visit, with no need for hatred to be felt.
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