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07 Dec 2005

My Heart is Broken!
Please can you give me some advice:

I've been with a truly amazing person for six years. He was 17 and I was 18 when we started going out. He is everything I could hope for in a man - he has such a good heart.

We moved in with each other in May 2004. We were very happy and in love. From June this year things started going wrong. He wanted to go overseas for two years to work and experience it. I knew it had been a very goal of his - and I was very supportive, but the two year factor got me really down. He wanted me to wait for him and be together when he got back. I told him this was not on - I thought he would go for six months at the most. So we compromised and he was happy to go for one month - I was so happy. He got very depressed and in Oct 05 he moved out. Since he has been on his own he has watched Porn movies, allowed his landlords to smoke dagga just outside his place and has been so distant. We constantly tried to make things work, but I didn't see him or hear from him nearly as much as I wanted to. This weekend I found playboys under his bed and I had had it - I stormed out and sent him an sms breaking up with him. Now I feel totally miserable. All along I thought he just wasn't that kind of guy and he has tried to tell me that curiosity just got the better of him. He won't speak to me - we left on such bad terms! He has written me a letter and has probably posted it so I'm dying to know what it says. I'm not a patient person so this waiting is making me insane.

I still love him and if he is sorry for looking at that junk I will take him back in a heartbeat.

What do I do in the meantime - he was everything to me! My friends know what has happened but they have not offered any kind of support. I am sick and tired of feeling so lonely. I'm young and attractive but don't have anyone to go places with.

Help!


Answer 398 views
Expert
CyberShrink
cybershrink

01 Jan 0001

While I understand your motives, especially in not wanting to be left Waiting for 2 years, it's hardly surprising that he has responded in this way --- and it's not a question of discovering that he was "like this" --- all that you describe sounds pretty darn normal.
As Synic says, you two started this relationship when very young, and without much, if any, experience of other relatonships or knowledge of other people. It may not have ben your intention, but it sounds as though you trampled on his Dreams, and spoiled them for him so no wonder he feels hurt.
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