Ask an expert
Question

24 Nov 2004

my mother still controls me!!!!!!!
i'm a mrried woman but my mother still tells me what to do with my life.

when i was young, my mother used to be a srict person, she told me what to do and what not to do.now i'm married she also want to tell me how to do things and that upset hubby.

my mother tells me i must not be controlled by huby coz he will ruin my life, she tell me what to buy as a woman, how to dress, how to shop, how to use money, how many kids i must have, and that i must not allow my inlaws to get too close to me as they are no good in fact she does not like my mother in law.

am i wrong to say all this things about my mother or she just shows she still cares about me as i was the only girl.?
Answer 368 views
Expert
CyberShrink
cybershrink

01 Jan 0001

You know, she can Tell you. all she wants to. But it's up to you whether you listen, let alone accept and follow her advice. I'm nor surprised it annoys your hubby. And what makes your mom so amazingly brilliant that she knows your husband will ruin your life, but that she won't ? There's nothing at all wrong with you criticizing her, But you are giving her WAY too much power over you. Lead your own life, with the husband you have chosen, and ignore her advice, whether or not it might be well-meant. And if you really find you can't , see a counsellor to get over this block.
If she won't let go, then YOU let go --- the rope can only pull you if you hold on to it at this end. When she gives instructions, just smile and say "Mmm, that's interesting. I'll think about it" and ignore it. make you own mind up.
The information provided does not constitute a diagnosis of your condition. You should consult a medical practitioner or other appropriate health care professional for a physical examination, diagnosis and formal advice. Health24 and the expert accept no responsibility or liability for any damage or personal harm you may suffer resulting from making use of this content.