Ask an expert

21 Feb 2013

Need advice from the wise...
My partner and I are wanting to get married by the end of this year and have a baby in the next year. We have a plan in place (i.e. buy this and that before hand, etc) but wooooaaaahhhhh I didn''t realize things were so EXPENSIVE!

It''s not the monthly costs that will bother us, it''s the initial outlay of everything! I calculated that if we want to buy enough baby things to last us at least a year (basics like clothes, blankets, soap, shampoo, vitamins, etc), with the pram and stuff it could cost over R15 000!

Not to mention the wedding, even with my cutting down the list and getting the cake, make up, photos instead of wedding gifts (from friends and family qualified in these fields), we are still looking at quite a bit.

We have a plan, but I hate asking people for money so I don''t know how nice this sounds, but please let me know if it sounds viable?

We sell our second car (which, to be honest, we don''t use often at all). We use the money from that to pay for the wedding. Instead of asking for wedding presents (because we''ve been living together for 3 years already, we have everything we need) we ask for money/ baby/ toddler items so we can start our little family (maybe get another cheapie run around car).

Does that sound OK, or completely ridiculous?

Answer 418 views

01 Jan 0001

Maybe get married in a simple legal ceremony without a wedding at all, and have a nice wedding later when you can afford it. I am certain that whatever was disasterous about your fiancee's parents marriage was NOT caused by their wedding.

But I see no problm with ezplaining to friends ( nobody else should be invited to a weddng ) that as you've been together a while you don't really need the usual wedding present gifts, but due to the astonishingly high cost of the child's needs, you'd appreciate either cash contributions, or gifts of what the child will need ( you can even supply a list as so many people now do with their wedding gifts ). Where your friends may have older children of their own, they may even have some second hand items that they'd be glad to give and which could be really handy.
One of my best friends is a wedding function organizer, but I'd say in my view the lavish weddings now fashionable are probably the very most useless expense any couple indulges in, apart from addictions.
And dont try to anticipate and buy everything in advance ? Get only the immediate needs, and get the rest as they become necessary, also taking advantage of any sales that occur. There's no special advantage in buying in advance unless the price is outstandingly good and likely to rise considerably.
Pixie raises some useful extra points, and Anon and others.

The information provided does not constitute a diagnosis of your condition. You should consult a medical practitioner or other appropriate health care professional for a physical examination, diagnosis and formal advice. Health24 and the expert accept no responsibility or liability for any damage or personal harm you may suffer resulting from making use of this content.