Ask an expert

15 Mar 2004

Need help to get rid of this rage
I broke up with my boyfriend and was left with alot of hurt and pain. Before i met him, i was an angry and aggressive person that would loose my coll with everyone. Then I met him and he changed me into a soft and caring person (and we were together for 3 yrs). I left him with alot of anger inside of me. at the end of the relationship, we started to become ugly with each other and swear each other and treat each other like dogs. Now that we are broken up, I still have that anger inside of me. I get cross over every single thing that does not go my way. I get cross over silly things. I wake up in the morning feeling like I want to kill everyone. I don't want to be this angry person anymore and I want to go back to the caring person I used to be. It is nobody's fault and yet I take everything out on them. Please can you advise and maybe recommend a councellor that I can go and see. I need to control my temper.
Answer 363 views

01 Jan 0001

Dear Angry,
So, if I understand, you were once a very angry and aggressive person, who became tamed and caring in the earlier stages this relationship, and now that it has ended, you are reverting to the anger and aggression again ? it sounds as if there ae oher, deeper reasons for this continued anger, and that you also may have unrealisic expectations that everything OUGHT to go your way ( others of us choose instead to expect most things NOT to go our way, so when they don't, we're not diappointed, and when things go well we feel we've received a bonus ).
I can't and don't recommend specific individual counsellors, but I do strongly agree that you should see a counsellor, probably a clinical psychologist, in your area ( wherever that is, my crystal ball isn't working too well today, I think the batteries are going flat ). It is posible to understand this continuing high level of anger much better, and to learn to control it.
The information provided does not constitute a diagnosis of your condition. You should consult a medical practitioner or other appropriate health care professional for a physical examination, diagnosis and formal advice. Health24 and the expert accept no responsibility or liability for any damage or personal harm you may suffer resulting from making use of this content.
Voting Booth
Have you entered our Health of the Nation survey?
Please select an option Oops! Something went wrong, please try again later.
34% - 9269 votes
66% - 17897 votes