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13 Dec 2005

Need relationship advice
Hi there. I've been involved with this guy for almost 7months. On Thursday it will be the anniversary. The thing is, I'm not sure if its going to work. He's forever trying to change me, complaining that I never do things right, he refuses to be reciprocating during sex, he won't go out of his way for me, and the longer I'm with him, the more I'm beginning to feel isolated from my family and friends. I'm not out yet but plan to come out as soon as the time is right. He pressurises me all the time into doing things that I cannot fulfill. He is incredibly moody and sometimes I don't know how to handle him. I feel like I'm constantly trying to keep the peace.

Yesterday, I couldn't meet up with him like I usually do in the mornings as I had an appointment, I let him know timeously and now I've been given the silent treatment for 2 days. Have not heard a thing from him.

My boyfriend wants me all to himself. I feel like I'm trapped. We've been together on and off for the last 3 years. I've experienced a break up with him before and it was hell. I'm afraid of letting go coz its a horrible thing to let go of someone you love.

Honestly, what can I do. Do I leave him? Can he change? I really would like us to be friends since we've come such a long way together, and there are times when we really do get along. Excuse me if I seem confused about what I want to do coz ya, I am very confused, thats why I need all the help I can get.
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Gay, lesbian and bisexual expert
Gay, lesbian and bisexual expert

01 Jan 0001

Hi Pondering and welcome to our forum.

I see that several people have already responded to you offering good advice - there seems to be agreement that this relationship is not in your best interests and that you need to terminate it. Which you subsequently did.

Just be mindful of trying to shift the relationship into some form of 'friendship' - this would lead you into a very unstructured emotional minefield and create complex dynamics that would negate your coming to terms with and mourning the end of the relationship, and would prevent you from moving on. Although it may sound painful, a clean break would be more functional in the longer run.

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