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01 Feb 2008

need to talk
Hey Doc

Long time no chat, thought life was actually picking up – now I’m not so sure. I’m going to just ramble cause I need to talk and try and make sense of my life, any advice you can offer will be appreciated.

To start with in September I got engaged to the most amazing guy – v.happy.
Then 3 days later I rolled my car.
Then just when I thought I got over that work starts going down hill, I’m constantly not sure if I’m going to get paid each month and whether or not I’m actually going to have a job the next.
Each month salary is late and I don’t get my over time, which is like 28 hours worth per month, my salary has been reduced and as a result is I’m having to use my credit and petrol cards more than I would normally. I’m not living extravagantly but I’m stressing – how am I going to live? I’ve been looking for another job, I reply to every ad in the paper and my cv is with all the employment agencies in town and no jobs are coming my way and those that do come up the salary is really small – just an example my rent is R1700 per month its for a small cottage on someone’s property the one job was for R1800 per month – I couldn’t live on that, honestly.

I made the fatal mistake of setting two friends up with each other, he’s cheating on her and I’m being dragged into it, he’s a friend of my guy and she a friend of mine. I feel its wrong what he’s doing but I have noticed if I say something against him my guy gets defensive – so I try and stay out of it, not easy since he lives with my guy.

My wedding plans are a wreck. My parents are divorced my mom works for less than I earn, my dad married himself a money tree, my guy is self employed makes enough to support himself and run the business and put a bit away each month. The old man had a heart attack and when he was recovering said he’d pay for the wedding so I started planning accordingly, and is now backing out, my mom is making me feel bad for wanting a nice wedding with trimmings – you know I don’t want a wedding the cost R80k but I don’t want a spit braai in the back yard either. It’s causing so much friction on our already shakey relationship (mom and me) a year ago mom and my brother had an awful fight and since then she’s treated me badly saying I treat her like my brother did – which I don’t think I do - and that when I get married I’m going to turn my back on her, like my brother did blah blah blah.

And finally back to me, my self confidence is no existent, I can’t sleep at night – for a week I haven’t slept at all, I constantly feel like I’m encroaching on people just wanting to spend time with them, I feel guilty phoning and saying “hello” when I’m lonely and for no reason I’ll burst into tears and then just can’t stop – the stupid thing , I don’t know why I’m crying.
My guy thinks I’m having a nervous breakdown, what do you say?
Answer 364 views

01 Jan 0001

hi A-C.
Sorry to hear you're going through such trying times. Well, it's not a nervous breakdown, but you're obviously under a lot of stress and feeling shaky. Is your guy helpful in talking such things through, and exploring alternative ways of handling these challenges ?
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