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22 Aug 2011

never really gets better
Hi CS,
I am currently on Lexamil, have been for 3 years, I have down days, and good days, but I when I have good days, I know that it wont last, and there is no point in getting used to it. It seems that I constantly need something to look forward to, otherwise life is just one big, never ending black hole. I have a shrink, but I am a totally different person when I see her, we talk about my future and stuff, and I put on this mask that I am content, and moving forward, meanwhile Im just staying in one place, wishing days away at work so I can go home and sleep. I have a very short attantion span, and need constant challenges to keep me intersted in my job. When Im down,it seems that it gives me some weird comfort to feel this way, because its familiar, although I am getting tired of it now.
Please help
Answer 358 views

01 Jan 0001

Sounds like you also have a strong habit of thinkibng negatively, so even when there are good days, you convince yourself that they won't last. This is where CBT counselling can help a lot.
Stop cheating yourself and your shrink by faking it when you see her. Be honest and frank. You are sabotaging yourself ; and sticking with an unpleasant state of being because you're scared to try being better
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