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06 Jan 2005

NEWCOMER TO THIS SITE
I am new to this site and have been reading thru some of the
postings and replies - its pleasing to note the sound advise that many of you give - it shows you care.

I am married for 8 years with 2 kids. All these years,
I feel like a silent partner in my marriage. My husband's family
is very controlling especially when it comes to my kids.
My husband overlooks this as them just loving my kids and
says I am jealous.My husbank and his family over-powers me and I feel
so unhappy. I don't make any decisions and have to tag along wherever they want to go.
I am basically a very quiet and humble person and
I cannot tell my husband how I feel because he says that I
am over-reacting and making a problem when there isn't one.
As long as I don't complain there is no problems. My husband never sides with me for anything. I cannot go for counselling because my husband doesn't think there is a problem
In the meantime, I am bottling it all iinside and am extremely
unhappy. I must be sounding very vague about my problem but there is so much to say it will be very long. Right now I am very
tearful and sitting at my desk at work, very sad.
Answer 420 views
Expert
CyberShrink
cybershrink

01 Jan 0001

Dear red,
Is it possibloe, as a first step, to gain his agreement that YOU need counselling, to deal with that "over-reacting " he thinks you're doing ? That would enable you to see someone wise who would be on your side, and help you to improve your self-esteem and confidence, and plan the best way forward for you, yourself. Of course you're not over-reacting, and there is a problem, much of it caused apparently by his UNDER-reacting, and his insnsitivity to your feelings and your needs. You can change that, but need at least the ally of a counsellor to help you plan more effective ways of handling the situation
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