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Question

20 Jan 2003

non-ejaculation during sex
I would like to know if my lover has a problem with ejaculation.
On a lot of occasions when we make love he does not ejaculate at all.
Is this a pschological or possibly a stress or drinking related problem?
Answer 803 views
Expert
Sexologist
sexy

01 Jan 0001

It is NOT his fault. It is Not your fault. No one is to blame for your current sexual situation. Once you take off the pressure and reframe this as part of your relationship (a challenge to be worked on), the stress and frustration associated with "having a problem" will dissipate. There are a lot of reasons why a man may not orgasm and ejaculate in a prescribed way. It may be physical, or it may be drug-related, prescription or non-prescription. It may be because of strong religious injunctions and guilt; the idea of not wanting to surrender to a woman; or, even fear of pregnancy. Or, it may be that you are different for him than other women he's been with, and that the closeness he feels to you makes him more anxious during sex than in the past.

Try enjoying the sex play that the two of you do together, without the expectation of orgasm. Work on spending time together being close. Let him pleasure you, without you trying to take care of his pleasure. Take the pressure off ejaculation and orgasm. Once you two feel close enough again, it may be that naturally he will be able to orgasm. If not, pick a time (not while in bed!) to discuss what's been going on. Ask him what it would mean to him to orgasm with you. Talk with him about what it means to you that he doesn't ejaculate inside of you. Make sure you're both open and honest, and working on the same wavelength.

If you need more assistance call a counsellor at SA Sexual Health Association 0860 100 262

Regards
Dr Elna Mcintosh

The information provided does not constitute a diagnosis of your condition. You should consult a medical practitioner or other appropriate health care professional for a physical examination, diagnosis and formal advice. Health24 and the expert accept no responsibility or liability for any damage or personal harm you may suffer resulting from making use of this content.
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