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05 Jul 2005

im constantly woring about unecesary things.i think i have depresion too.i always averaged btwn 85-87% at school.passed matric with an 83% aggregate and 4 distinstions and 2 B's which were both above 75%.i know im not stupid but now doing 2nd year at university but am failing and scraping passes.failed a course in first year,failing my major now.whats going on?always compare myself to others who are better of than me.was phyically emotionally and verbally abused as child till the age of 17 but now ate 19 have still endured emotieonal and verbal abuse from my mother.have been told i will only ever be good ate being a prostitute.have no faith in myself,think i am incapable of doing anything.feel im worhless and useless.have sister 3yrs younger who averages 90% at school.she always had my parents suport n encouragement,never abused by them the way i was/i got my matric results on my own with the help of a few teachers who supported and tutored me whereas my parents go all out to provide my sis with books guides n tutors.very suicidal.i know i can change but how.i dream of achieving a cum laude in my degree next year.plz help me.i think i have an anxiety disorder coz i wotty all the time about sill things.also i daydream n go into my fantasy world with my imaginery friends the whole day long to escape my life.this means i dont concentrate when i try to study coz i dream.also parents always help my sis with her school work n do her projects for her whereas i did mine on my going mad here.
Answer 459 views

01 Jan 0001

ocd and depression commonly go together, and fortunately, they usually respond to the same medications amd similar CBT. its very obvious that you are highly intelligent ; but if you are depressed, and obsessing ( which uses up a great deal of time and energy non-productively ) and with someone a profoundly negative as your mother sounds as if she is, dragging you down in mood, it's hardly surprising that you're not succeeding to the level that you could be doing, in your studies. Of course you feel tempted to daydream, to avoid the realities thatlook so unpleasant. But it doesn't need to remain this way.
Check, where you are studying, there should be student health and counselling services, where you could get competent counselling and help. See a shrink for a proper assessment, as Depression and/or anxiety disorders can be quite easily treated.
Don't accept or believe in the negative messages you have received from your parents, and recognize your own real value.
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