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04 Mar 2003

phone sex, but girlfriend needs convincing ?
my girlfriend lives a town away from me and i only really see her every weekend/ second weekend.i have tried on numerous occasions to intiate sms or phone sex but every time she bails out and says that her imagination is not vivid enough. how do i get her to change her mind cause i wont to keep things interesting is she is beautiful girl and i dont want to loose her. sexually we get up to some crazy stuff and she is deffinetly not a shy girl so somebody help a friend out here??? pleaseeeeeee
Answer 2,541 views
Expert
Sexologist
Sexy

01 Jan 0001

Many believe that women’s fantasies are tame – just sensual, romantic plots. But research shows that men’s and women’s fantasies are actually remarkably similar to each other. “This is, perhaps, not so surprising”, says fantasy researcher, Harold Leitenberg, “because the most common fantasies people have presumably reflect shared cultural experiences, and the prevailing sexual imagery dominant in their society.”

A combination of 13 recent studies show that the following are the most common sexual fantasies for both men and women:

1. Reliving an exciting sexual experience
2. Dreaming about someone other than your partner
3. Having sexual power over another
4. Being sexually irresistible (exhibitionism)
5. Being “forced” into sex


How men differ

If there is a difference between men and women it is slight. Men …

1. … see themselves in more active roles than women do
2. … often picture themselves in the more dominant roles
3. … focus more on the woman’s body and what he wants to do to it than
do women, who focus on how attractive they are to the man
4. … develop their story-lines less than women

This small gap is becoming narrower every day.

Women’s Fantasies Explored

Nancy Friday solicited thousands of women’s fantasies since 1970. In her books Secret Garden and Women on Top, she described that the most common fantasies of women often were what would be considered to be “politically incorrect”. For example:

Twenty Years Ago, in the The Secret Garden, she found the following fantasies
common to most women:

1. Being “taken” by a Faceless Stranger”
2. Showing off to an audience (exhibitionism)
3. Rape or, “don’t just stand there, force me!”
4. Pain and masochism, or, “ouch, don’t stop!”
5. Domination or, “how humiliating -- thank you!”
6. The sexuality of terror or, “help, I’m out of control -- thank God!”
7. The thrill of the forbidden/taboo or, “no, you mustn’t -- here, let me help out!”
8. Incest
9. The Zoo
10. Big Black Men
11. Young Boys
12. Exploring a fetish (?)
13. Being with another woman
14. Prostituting yourself for one night


Today, twenty years later, in Women on Top, Nancy Friday looked at how fantasies
had changed with women’s liberation, and showed that women were more in control, more active, and more powerful in their fanatasies. The following themes were showing up more often than twenty years ago:

1. Being “powerful” is all about being seductive, sometimes sadistic, and sexually-controlling
2. Women having sex with women
3. The “insatiable woman” – or, “the cry for more”:
a. The thrill of the forbidden
b. Being with several men at the same time
c. Having many more fantasies than before
d. Exploring, or, “more oral sex, please!”
e. Group sex
f. Watching two men having sex
g. Imagining what it would be like to have a penis
The information provided does not constitute a diagnosis of your condition. You should consult a medical practitioner or other appropriate health care professional for a physical examination, diagnosis and formal advice. Health24 and the expert accept no responsibility or liability for any damage or personal harm you may suffer resulting from making use of this content.
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