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27 Aug 2007

Please help!!!!
I've been having an affair with a married man for the past 8 months, his wife found out about us, she got hold of my number and called telling me that she doesnt want him anymore, says things have been soar between them for the passed year or so, said she was leaving him and she was going to move out in September. On Friday he tells me she's pregnant, she's 7 months pregnant and according to her she never knew she was pregnant, they already have 3 and this is number 4. She called me and told me that the fact that she's pregnant dont change anything she says she still dont want him but wont be able to move out until baby's born. Yesterday he wanted to take me to his house too introduce me too his family and i refused because she's still in the house, they constantly at each others throats and now his stress becomes mine, i think of what future we going to have together with so many children because he told her he wants custody of the children, she refuses because she doesnt work so she made it clear that when she leaves she's taking the children with her then that way she can get maintanance, his scared because she drinks way too much and is not stable at all, im beginning to feel as his got too much bagage but dont want too just leave him like this, his mom even came to my house to ask me not to break up with her son, i dont know what to do, i love him a lot but what am scared for our future, i dont mind the children because ive got two of my own, i just feel as though we fighting a loosing battle, i dont know how too tell him because i dont want him too feel as though that now things are tough im bailing out on him, but things are more complicated with his wife pregnant and her drinking habits are also too much for me too handle because now she comes to my house and asks me too buy alcohol for her, his a nice decent guy that comes from a good home and i love him but i really cant take it any more.
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Expert
CyberShrink
cybershrink

01 Jan 0001

A married man who wants to take his mistress to his house to meet the family, while his wife is pregnant, sounds like a rather despicable character anyway you look at it. And you don't seem to show a shred o sympathy or understanding of the wife whose husband you were happy to steal. Yes, the situation is difficult for you whether you go ahead with him, or try to withdraw, but that is the situation you chose to create, and you have to live with it's consequences. And if she comes and asks you to buy alcohol for her, she must be disturbed and peculiarly unrealistic, too. Sounds like she urgently needs treatment for her alcohoo problems, at the very least The fact that they were "having problems" when you met him is never any excuse for an affair with a married man.
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