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28 Jun 2011

Pls help me.
I am a 34 and a widow, my husband passed in an accident while i was 31.I grieved , went for counselling.it was very hard.it is now 21/2 yrs now.i am starting to feel so lonely.I would love to start dating,but the fear of meeting someone with wrong reasons clouds my minds and i might not get someone who is single .i have two children. an old friend from school invited me for a date, we have had 3 dates already.the problem is he is in a relationship and has a child. He makes me so happy.i enjoy his company but i do not want to be happy at someones elses expense.what do i do. where do i find widowers of my age or even a divorcee. It''s not easy to be alone.
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Expert
CyberShrink
cybershrink

01 Jan 0001

Grief is one thing, and it is indeed hard work, and counseling ca help with that. But loneliness is a separate component of the problem. A counsellor again can help one gain confidence, and perhaps help you to work out better ways of assessing prospective pals. Take care that your loneliness doesn't encourage you to rush into new relationships, but take your time and apply your pwn wisdom to getting to know new friends.
You're right to hesitate about being made happy by someone who is apparently inclined to make others unhappy. See it both as a sign that this particular relationship is not a great idea, but that new friendships ca indeed be pleasant and that you are very much capable of them.
People often meet compatible others not in a direct date-search, but by getting involved in hobbies, charities, other activities that match their own interests, enabling them to meet others with similar interests
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