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Question

16 Mar 2003

porn addict
i really really need some help i am addicted to porn on the net and cant stop returning to the same porn site time after time.
I have 2 kids one two years five months and the other five months old, my fiance and i are in the process of sepperating and i have realised that i have lost my world and feel very asshamed and unhappy about the results.
pls help me cause i dont want to let this happen again BUT i cant stop returning to porn sites.

Very unhappy
Madcow8
Answer 403 views
Expert
CyberShrink
cybershrink

01 Jan 0001

Dear madcow8 ( Gee, I wodner what happend to the previous 7 madcows ? )
So many people become trapped by their own declarations. They announce, to themsevles, maybe even to others, that "I CAN"T" do this or that, when they actually mean "I Won't" You can stop returning to porn sites, or to any other sites. You could give up your ISP account ; or you could install one of the Netnanny type of parental controls, and let your fiancee select and keep secret the password that enables someone to change the controls to it. There are various things you could do to stop yourself, or to restrict the time you spent on such access, but you didn't choose to do them. You can change your mind, stop declaring the processs to be hopeless, and choose to restrict or stop yourself having such access.
You don't mention whether the breakup of your relationship is based on this excessive devotion to visiting porn sites ; or if you turned to the sites as the relationship was breaking up for other reasons. Either way, if you really wan the relationship, you can change your habits and heal the relationship, if you choose to. You could undertake counseling to review whatever problems you have personally, and start working on them. If she was interested in mending the problems between you, you could both become involved in relationship counselling.
And if you stop spending time and money on the porn access, you'll have time and money to spend on the counselling, and could turn this whole mess around. Why not try it, seriously ?
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