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20 Aug 2011

porn, voyeurism, erotic stories and relationships
I've been in a relationship for almost 2 years, not ideal as i am not living in the same town, and I have children that i don't want to expose to the relationship yet, but we are extremely happy when we are togehter.

It's like i finally found my other piece! This week i went to visit and used his pc, what a shock when i found that he visits porn sites and read all these stories...i confronted him, and he tried to explain it away as something he does from time to time to assist in masturbation, as it is a physical need for a male.

Please help me to make sense of this, as I feel this has violated our relationship, I don't want to make more of it than it is, but I need some understanding!!!
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Expert
Sexologist
sexologist

01 Jan 0001

Dear justme,

The use of erotica, porn, erotic stories, fantasies to facilitate solo sex (masturbation) for both men and women is a very normal and common. This for both men and women whether in a relationship or not.

Men and women in a relationship need, and it is healthy and normal, to still continue enjoying ther sexual relationship with themselves and solo sex sessions are a healthy way to maintain an in touch relationship to your body.

Just like we all need "me time", and this in no way is an indication that we do not love and care for our partners, children, family friends etc because we need time to ourselves at times to "recharge our batteries". This principle is equally applicable to masturbation.

Fantasy and use of erotica as a source of stimulus for masturbation, is just that, a source of stimulus.
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