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Question
06 Feb 2009
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Pornography and low libido
I' m a 32 year old woman engaged (to get married in April) to a 35 year old man. We' ve been together and libing together for more than a year. We have a wonderful fulfiling relationship except for the sexual side which started going downhill appr 8 months ago when my fiance just started to withdraw sexually. I tried to be supportive as I thought it might have something to do with his work enviroment but about October last year I noticed that he was watching porn on the internet almost on a daily basis.
We talked about this situation which turned into a huge fight where my fiance said that he watches porn as he does not find me physically attractive and therefore needs watch porn as a substitute. Í know he loves me as he is a very physical person and wants to cuddle and kiss the whole time. It is just the sex that he doesn' t want. No amount of enticing on my part which includes kissing, stroking, new underwear etc can get him interested.
I' ve done some research on the internet and found that a common cause of porn addiction can be reduced libido. Is this true and what can I do to get the man I felll in love with back?
We talked about this situation which turned into a huge fight where my fiance said that he watches porn as he does not find me physically attractive and therefore needs watch porn as a substitute. Í know he loves me as he is a very physical person and wants to cuddle and kiss the whole time. It is just the sex that he doesn' t want. No amount of enticing on my part which includes kissing, stroking, new underwear etc can get him interested.
I' ve done some research on the internet and found that a common cause of porn addiction can be reduced libido. Is this true and what can I do to get the man I felll in love with back?
Sexologist
Dear Kay,<br><br>The issue of "porn addiction" and when is it an addiction and when is it a healthy part of a person's sexual repertoire is still a controversial one. I would strongly suggest, in view of you being engaged to be married, that you and your fiance consider seeing a relationship and sex therapist. There are a number of possible factors that could be contributing to what you have described. The fact that when you tried to address the issue and that your fiance became defensive and blamed you for the problem and that you could not resolve the issue successfully, is the reason I recommend you consider professional help.<br><br>I could formulate a number of theories as to what has resulted in your fiance's change in your sexual relationship, but that would not be helpful to you.<br><br>
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