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29 Mar 2007

Problems with bone infection
Hey CS, glad you back, even if taking it slowly.

I know it's probably not useful advice, but if you are still having problems with bone infections THE guy to see is Dr Charles Lautenbach at Milpark. Guess he's about 90 by now, but for the past 20 years he gets cures when no-one else does. And good use of the limb which always helps. One of my favourite "snaps" of him was doing an outpatient clinic, chocolate cake in one hand, working with the other, wiping muck off on his suit (funny enough, most of his suits were a nice muddy/bloody brown colour). But gross as it sounds, he did magic. My ex still has a leg thanks to him. And half a dozen of the other guys he was seeing then also ended up keeping bodyparts that they were about to lose before getting a referral to him.. So just in case - if current surgery doesn't give you 100%, please keep his name on file.

Otherwise...I'm pretty stuffed. Gave p-doc my stash. Makes him happy, and I guess I don't reallly need it. Bought a motorbike, so if it gets to the day and I'm feeling brave I can do the headfirst into a concrete overpass bit. Otherwise it's still sucking CO. Sometime soon.

I've run out of fight CS. Just too long, and too little result. Too little? Make that zero. Doing Nardil, snuck into the country, coupled with trimipramine. And tertroxin, and lithium.

And nothing, Run out of fight, run out of hope. Trying to at least organise things a bit, but most mornings breathing is more than I can do. Not even doing the rehab work anymore, because every time I look at a little bird all I can see is that he'd be better off with someone.

And just to cherry on top of the mix, had to euthanase my one dog on Monday. Long time hip problems, lots of Rimadyl, mast cell cancer thrown in. looks as if his liver packed up - didn't do the invasive stuff. Took his word that it was time.

We give death with dignity to our special animals. Why won't they give it to us as well. Would make it so much better if I could walk in, stick my arm out and say 'nuff guys, i'd like out'

Would have to be my right arm - I have savaged the left one with a razor blade that I have to go tomorrow and by some long sleeved shirts. Haha, in a nice mud/blood brown colour would be good.

I have one thing left to do. Really dumb, but I figured that I would very much like to kiss p-doc before I duck. Saw him today, chickened out of doing it, guess that means another week of eternity before the possibility arrises again. Not like i even expect it to mean anything - just an arb, wich I could do it.

Oh yeah, and you don't even need to reply to this. Posting without a subject, so it's inaccessable to everyone except you.
Glad you are back though.
jcat. sometimes i think the nic would be better as jcu-t.
Answer 1,279 views

01 Jan 0001

Hi jcat,
Thanks for the advice --- I'll take a note of that name.
I hear what you're saying on euthanasia --- but can you imagine being the person asked to carry out such requests ? And wouldn't the sort of guys who might be enhusiastic about taking on such a job be likely to be exactly the sort of guys one ought to run away from ? Sorry to hear you're going through another rough patch lately. You seem to have had episodes of unremittent gloom, and periods of not so bad, and its not clear how these phases relate to treatment changes.
Don't duck out yet, you are beneficial to life in more ways than you seem to recognize at times.
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