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11 Feb 2004

Progress..... I think
Good Day Doc
Well I have had a few days to sit back and took along hard look at my situation. This is what I think or maybe what I want to think.
I am still torn up about losing our baby... even though at times out of resentment for him i feel somewhat relieved ( I know it's a terrible thing to say but going through an unplanned pregnancy alone is the most horrible thing - it's scary you feel even more insecure, you cry a hell of allot, your hormones are going bezerk, you feel ugly, i think you get my gist. I swear it is quite frightening)
Yes I am still angry at him for not being there, I do not think I can ever forgive him for abandoning me at a time when I needed him most.
Tho other thing that grates me is his damn ego - he thinks that I crumble at the mere sight of him! He knows how much I love him and I wish I did not! I would love to bring him down to earth because he is so busy flying high up there that he seems to have forgotten what really counts in life and that you cannot go around hurting other people and thinks it's OK or that all you have to do is smile & you're instantly forgiven!! That is not how life works and his money and status does mean a damn thing to me. I have my own money, I dont need status, my personality and being are not classified by who I do or do not know!!!
If he loves me so much why is he acting like a total @sshole? Pls excuse my language I just get so mad when I think about this. It's like he said he wants to come home but needs time, what makes him think that want him back? He is just punishing me because he knows I am miserable without him but he does not seem to realise that he is pushing me away and that he found me in my home, he came into my life, he fought for more that 7 months before I even considered letting him in my life it;s almost as though to him the thrill of the chase is over and now that he has me it seems like he does not want me. I am so p'd off that I wish I could run away and never see him again. Look at me I did not say what I wanted to because I got so upset typing this. What must I do?
Answer 405 views
Expert
CyberShrink
cybershrink

01 Jan 0001

Drop him. Love is not logical, so we do, too often, waste some of our ( fortunately infinite ) capacity for loving, on people who in no way deserve it or even appreciate it ; but that's no reason to let them all into our lives. It's a bit like politicians --- you may vote for them, even enthusiastically, but you wouldn't want to live with one !
He sounds totally unworthy of you. leave it to him to run away, you don't need to run ; just keep the door shut when he might think he's doing you a favour by walking back in. And don't worry about how much he deserves and needs to be taught a lesson. Life will arrange that for him, before too long, so leave him to it without wasting your time on such a project.
And don't get pessimistic about your long-term chances. Your responses in this forum to other people's problems, prove that you're learning a whole lotta wisdom in this process ; and you can't keep on picking the wrong guy every time --- the locality must eventually run out of frogs, and come up with a Prince !
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