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18 Mar 2003

RE: Girlfriend
Hi,

Thanks for the advice, I have decided life is worth living, but i'm not going to give her up without a fight. I know that it is very stupid to even try to win her back after wat she has done to me, but I must try. I feel someone like her only comes along ones in a live time and I must try.... The chance of me getting hurt again is very good, but sometimes you have to risk to gain. I know you will think i set myself up for failure again, you are most properbly right. I don't give up without a fight!
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Expert
CyberShrink
cybershrink

01 Jan 0001

Dear Anym.
Pleased to hear you have again concluded that life is worth living ! I hear that you have decided to try to get her back, even though there is a good chance that you will be hurt again.
Where I disagree to some extent is simply with two of the parts of your argument. Firstly, after many years of experience, I am convinced that there is NEVER one single person on earth with whom each of us could possibly be happy. OK, we wouldn't be happy with just anyone, and there are millions of people we wouldn't be happy with ; but though I understand that one may feel AS IF this or that person is one's only possible mate, this is a sincere feeling, but not a factually soun conclusion.
The second quibble would be when you say "I must..." "I must..." This is what we call "musterbating" ! You have made these choices, and one can respect these --- but as choices you made, among other alternatives, not as things that were absolutely compulaory and unavoidable. It's important to take responsibility for one's decisions and choices, and not to act as if they were delivered as instructions from heaven, delivered in a thunderbolt.
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