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02 Jan 2013

Really confused and sad  please advice
I have been with my girlfriend for 8 years and recently got married. In the last year before marriage I fell in love with another person while I still felt I cannot disappoint my 8 year girlfriend. She has been aware that the spark has died and knows my involvement with the other person but insisted on marriage truly because she is obsessed with a white expensive wedding which we had.

My whole life (even friends have told me) I have never done anything for myself. I always look out for others before myself. I spent a big chunk of my salary helping those in need until sometimes I end up with nothing. I really feel I got married for her while I did not want not. Now I am rebellious and it looks unfair on her. I did tell her before the wedding that I do not want to but she broke and promised to take her life. I feel I must start doing things for myself, do the things that make me happy.

My other girlfriend that I love is going through a difficult time. She is hurting more than I have ever seen anyone hurt. Nothing makes sense to me. I dont know what to do. I dont want to hurt anyone. I just wish to vanish from the face of the earth.