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Question

24 Nov 2004

Reflection
Dear Cybershrink

I have a bit of a problem, Things are going really well with me - I feel good about myself and I can look in the mirror and appreciate what I see.

The only thing that is bugging me is that sometimes when I am in the kitchen and have a sharp object in my hand - any sharp object I get this voice that says Cut yourself and its like i almost feel the freedom in the thought. The sensation.

God has really "blessed" me and kept me save in some ways cause I HATE blood and cant stand it so I will never cut myself.
But its still scary thoughts. I can also not throw up never could in my life which is also a blessing.

I have abused alcohol and things in the past to cope and also as sort of self mutulation, and like you know also recovered from eating disorder all things that attacks the body and mind and soul.
That doors have been closed for I havent been drinking or taking any pills I even gave up normal tea for all the cafeine and been following a healthy lifestyle.

Could this be the bad negative self distructive ways trying to scream and reach out so I embrace them? I will not act on it -
I just want to clearify this thoughts.
Answer 366 views
Expert
CyberShrink
cybershrink

01 Jan 0001

Much of what you say sounds good and wholesome, and I hope you're right that you're no longer a candidate for self-harm or Eating Disorder. Sounds like you've been cleaning up to a healthy life-style. As for the odd sensation when handling knives, I know many normal people get a sort of prickly back of the neck feeling when handling such dangerous objects, and thinkin g'What if ?... ; or you're remembering that you USED to have the ability to do something damaging with such things, but Now you have the Power NOT to do so. But maybe as DG suggests, a bit more work in counselling could make things more secure still ?
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