Ask an expert
Question

25 Oct 2009

RELATIONSHIP
I' ve dated a man since June that I met on an Internet dating site. He has been divorced for 10 years, but still talks about his ex wife and how bad she treated him constantly. He told me that he could never see a woman more than 1 or 2 dates and if she got serious he ran, until he met me. He said I score a 10 and am a wonderful person, but he has got cold feet, I should please be patient with him.He also prefers very young women, but he was interested in me because of my youthfull appearance. I am 50 and he is 56. He treasures his freedom and is so scared to give it up, he also cannot ask me to marry him right now due to fiancial reasons. If I help him market his business part time (I have a full time job), it could change things and if we make things work business wise we could get married and have a great future. He also asked me if I would be willing to pay for my own holiday if we were to go to an exotic island over Christmas.
He introduced me to his daughter and she told him I was the best woman he ever had and he would be a fool to let me slip through his fingers. He still loggs on to the dating site everyday and meet and phone other ladies and told me to do the same and keep my options open. He said he got jealous thinking about me dating somebody else, but he realises he' s got no right to expect me not to at this stage as we are not in a relationship. he stays far away and I only see him once a month, he then also gives preference to spending time with his daughter. He phones regularly and if I go our always wants to know if I am going out with a boyfriend. He then tells me he misses me and are crazy about me, but when we see one another he never holds my hand or kiss or hug me, is this normal? Am I just wasting my time?
Answer 339 views
Expert
CyberShrink
cybershrink

01 Jan 0001

At 56 he is surely unlikely to meet many "very young women" interested in him, except gold-diggers, supposing he has a really large pile of gold. And his wishes sound rather exploitative - pay for your own holiday so I can afford to go somewhere exotic, rather than have me pay for both of us for somewhere modest but pleasant ; do unpaid work to promote my business plans ; and though you're the best woman I ever met in my life, we should both keep our options open, and I'm still looking for someone better ?
Does he really sound like a good bet ? At his age, significant change is highly unlikely.
And don't let yourself get discouraged over your "loss" of this guy - assess him objectively, and your loss is small, and his is large.
The information provided does not constitute a diagnosis of your condition. You should consult a medical practitioner or other appropriate health care professional for a physical examination, diagnosis and formal advice. Health24 and the expert accept no responsibility or liability for any damage or personal harm you may suffer resulting from making use of this content.
Voting Booth
Have you entered our Health of the Nation survey?
Please select an option Oops! Something went wrong, please try again later.
Results
Yes
33% - 9324 votes
No
67% - 18749 votes
Vote