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02 Jul 2010

Self-esteem
Hi, is there something wrong with me. I am very lucky to still have a job. I am working as a receptionist/secretary. Everytime a new client or possible client shows up I get anxious and are always observing or thinking what that person is thinking of me. I have very low self-esteem and do not think I am pretty. In school I always wanted a boyfriend but did not know how to speak to them. Now I am at work and do not know how to communicate and it is making me depressed. I do want friends but I do not know how to start a conversation or think that they will think I am boring. I am 26 and am afraid of everything, it feels as if everyone is watching me when I am shopping. It puts a great amount of stress on me.
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Expert
CyberShrink
cybershrink

01 Jan 0001

It does sound as though you have low self-esteem, quite possibly a degree of social anxiety disorder and counselling could help you to improve that, and it responds reall well to treatment. Realize that clients and visitors have not come to evaluate the receptionist, and are wrapped up in their own thoughts, plans and worries, and maybe also their own self-consciousness and worry about the interview or meeting ahead of them. Its really rare for them to manage to notice or remember the receptionist. UInless perhaps you insist on dressing entirely in red and turn cartwheels across the floor. In which case they may just notice, before returning to their own worries.
Don't wory so much about HOW to communicate and just do it in simple and less complex ways.
Say something about the weather, say something nice about what someone is wearing, whatever. And if they don't seem interested to may conversation stop assuming this means there's something awful wrong with you - it probably just means they're pre-occupied with their own concerns, and can't be bothered to think about someone else - you or whoever else might be sitting at the reception desk
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