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24 Feb 2003

Self-esteem dropping
I used to be a very vibrant, happy person and although I still am happy I feel I've lost my spark/drive. My b/f is very good to me and I know he loves me. We live together but I feel he has in some ways supressed my personality. I have also this past week started toning my tummy and butt, although I am not badly built my butt is a little big. It has bothered me bcos when I try to initiate sex I get brushed off and it came out this weekend that my butt is a turn off and he didn't want to hurt me by telling me this and now at least I'm doing something about it. I feel completely at a loss as I know he didn't mean to hurt me, but I feel so ugly and feel embarrassed around other more shapely females. I am the correct weight for my height and he said the rest of my body is perfect, yet I have developed a self-image complex.
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Expert
CyberShrink
cybershrink

01 Jan 0001

Dear me, trish, if all he can find fault with is your butt --- remember that it may be perfectly shaped in the opinion of many others --- haybe it's your bf who just has odd taste in butts. What I mean is --- how we respond to sizes and shapes of body parts is a very personal and individual thing. Maybe it was even just an excuse. Some men find it a real turn-on when a woman takes the initiative about sex ; others feel confused and insecure, and make an excuse. Maybe men are more visually oriented --- fewer women seem to feel unable to respond to their lover until he has rushed to the gym to re-size and shape some of his body parts. This must be so, or far more men would be lonely, wouldn't they ?
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