Ask an expert
Question

04 Aug 2010

Selfish?
My partner has two kids -working/studying.

Because of a lack of funds the one sat the whole recess at home. Now and then we will all take a break together for a week end or so.

I want to go away for a specific weekend (taking leave on the Friday) with my partner as there are certain things to do and see on that week end. (If they are all free to go, I will gladly take everyone along, but as it is they have commitments).
She does not want to go, because she feels bad about her kids not having the opportunity to go with.

I don''t want my own life been ruled by stuff like that. It is not my fault that they cannot go with, why should I (we) be penalised.

Am I selfish?
Answer 351 views
Expert
CyberShrink
cybershrink

01 Jan 0001

I think its sad that any young person is so lacking in inner resources as to find themselves with nothing to do during recess, due to a lack of money. I'm an old curmudgeon, but I occupied myself happily and usefully through any time-off, without needing to spend any money to do so, and at least spending very little. Its sad that kids have been encouraged to see fun as needing cahs, and as exclusively revolving around clubbing, parties, and so on. Nothing wrong with those activities as such, but really limiting if they see these as the ONLY way to have fun.
I'm sure the kids usually go off on their own amusements without feeling any need to take mom along, which is healthy - why does she feel these adult kids need to come along with the pair of you ? There used to be a great old music-hall song about romance-killing, called "And her mother came, too".
You're not selfish, she is being blinkered and unreasonable, even if for really nice reasons.
The information provided does not constitute a diagnosis of your condition. You should consult a medical practitioner or other appropriate health care professional for a physical examination, diagnosis and formal advice. Health24 and the expert accept no responsibility or liability for any damage or personal harm you may suffer resulting from making use of this content.
Voting Booth
Have you entered our Health of the Nation survey?
Please select an option Oops! Something went wrong, please try again later.
Results
Yes
33% - 9320 votes
No
67% - 18601 votes
Vote