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02 Mar 2003

separation
my husband and I have been seperated for the past 6 months. recently we had discussions regarding reconciling. However, he has indicated that he does not want to move back home for at least another 5-6 months, has told me that I can't expect him to visit me on a to regular basis as he has other commitments (he's living with his ex-mother in law from his 1st marriage) and when my car broke down,and I couldn't get to work, told me that it's not his problem as he has his own life at the moment, and I must sort out my own problems. He does not want any of his family or his children to know that we have been trying to work things out, and I'm not allowed to phone him at home. Whilst we were both to blame for the collapse of our marriage, he say's he won't consider coming back until I show total remorse for everything that I did wrong. He also walked out leaving me to pay all our outstanding accounts. According to him I threw him out, so that's my punishment.
I did ask him to leave initially as he was abusive & physically violent towards me at times. I've suggested counselling but he won't commit to going, stating he doesn't need to, but I should go alone. I don't know whether I should give him more time or proceed with the divorce?
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Expert
CyberShrink
cybershrink

01 Jan 0001

Give him more time FOR WHAT ? He is abusive emotionally and physically ( and financially ) , and is now being judgemental and over-controlling even during atempts at reconciliation. Wat on earth would be the advantag to getting back together with him ? He is the one who has ben abusive, yet he sees nothing to apologise for, and no need for therapy ? Dump the bum, and take your time about finding a real man who can treat other human eings with respect.
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