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24 Nov 2005

Sex drive is defintely killed by marriage issues - the story of my life
I so wish there could be a better way to resolve these marriage and relationship issues to regain best sex life ever. I am in tears. Most damaging to a sex life and marriage are issues of trust. I know my wife has a man she is busy with. when at work she connects with either telephonically, email or msn chat. i know it took me using shady ways of finding out. i therefore can not raise it with her lest some screws tightened and I cannot monitor their moves nomore.

my wife values her friends more than us. her priorities are friends and making money. she has no regard for me as a husband. she alway avoid time with us together and intimacy. she would rather do things that she knows would drive us apart than invest on those to keep us close together. like cook a full meal and take it to a friend's party, leave me with nothing to eat and bring back some left overs after midnight. yet she would complain when we run low on groceries or if she buys i do not get to enjoy a meal without hers making me feel that she bought or paid for it.

i used to sooth myself with masturbating now i no longer do. i used to think of quitting the marriage i no longer do. i used to think of finding a misstress i no longer do. i am trapped in deep thoughts about life, my life, its worth.

i know for sure i am a great lover and a very supportive and goodhearted husband - i want to ease everybody's life at home where possible wash dishes do most of the household chores. but now i have lost motivation and i care, its not like i do not care but have lost my energy, drive, ambitions. i am looking for work very very far away but i have not got even a drive to i so wish i could go back to my mother's womb or sleep for a very long long time and wake up to find that she is not there (in my life) and i can be a happy bachelor or in a very fulfilling loving and caring marriage. it hurts so bad.

i wish therapy or marriage counselling could help easily and quicker becaous even when you go through it bank accounts and medical aids run dry and help just takes long to come to reality. it is terrible. life sometimes sux like my sex life, marriage life. the story of my life.
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Expert
CyberShrink
cybershrink

01 Jan 0001

Lista, so sorry to hear of your grief. You sound like the sort of husband so many woman only dream of, yet maried to a woman who doesn't appreciate any of it. Marriage counselling can help, if the counsellor is skilled, and if BOTH parties agree to take part sincerely
Yes, divorce can be costly ( though not always ) and so can theraphy ( but not always ) --- but remaining so miserable for years on end, is also very costly, and at the end there is nothing to show for it.
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