Ask an expert
Question

28 Jun 2005

SHATTERED
We've been married since '99(in COP).He's 12yrs my junior. He had 2 affairs that both resulted in 2 kids.We can't have kids together(I've got my 1 from prev relationship). We married at the court.He took one of the mothers to his place for Xmas when she was preg and introduced her to his family.His father wanted to start the marriage proceedings but there were some minor delays... He told me about this woman but told me they've broken up up until she one day showed up at our flat(which turned out he asked her to find it for him so that she can visit anytime she wanted) with the kid. I forced him to break it off with the woman right there and stop visiting them. He did and their relationship ended.Now this woman is suing him for R2500 p.m with an annual increase of 15%. He cannot afford that amount(I earn more than he does) but if they look at both our salaries then we can afford it. Is it how it works in court. This woman has even threatened to sue him for palimony, is that recognised in SA? please help me as I cannot affort to maintain this slatt. I'm sure soon enough the other one is going to follow suit.
Answer 390 views
Expert
CyberShrink
cybershrink

01 Jan 0001

I really can't understand why so many young men seem incapable of understanding the simple mechanics of contraception, and scatter kids around without thinking of the consquences for the children or others. Others among our regulars are familiar with the usual practices of maintenance, etc, but I don't think any but a very foolish court would consider giving her whatever she asks for, without taking into account what he earns ( and also the potential needs of his other child, and of you and your child. And surely they'd need to look at what the mothers themselves could be earning, as they're surely not entitled to fall prergnant, and then sit down for the rest of their lives expecting the man to support them, I doubt that the American concept of palimony would hold water in a SA court.
I can't believe that you have made him the philandering, bayby begeting cheater that he is today --- you would probably be better able to look after your own child, without him and his increasing debts. You wouldn't possibly be letting "them" win, if you left him --- you'd be letting yourself lose by staying. You think you've won something by having a loser visit for the weekend ?
The information provided does not constitute a diagnosis of your condition. You should consult a medical practitioner or other appropriate health care professional for a physical examination, diagnosis and formal advice. Health24 and the expert accept no responsibility or liability for any damage or personal harm you may suffer resulting from making use of this content.