Ask an expert
Question

05 Mar 2003

Shocking discovery at doctor
I am not sure if I should post this here or to gynea doc, basically this is medical and mentally related.
I am in the final 3 - 4 weeks of my pregnancy. I went to a GP for every checkup and sonar for he is not too expensive and I don't have a medical aid. On every visit he told me it is a girl. December I took my mom and husband with and the doctor confirmed it is a girl.
We made up the room, bought clothing etc all for a girl.
For the past week or so I have experienced allot of pain and decided to check if my baby is still fine. Out of the blue the doctor first says "The baby is getting big now, sex is difficult to determine, wait.. no it is a boy... mmmm maybe a girl.. no not sure." What must I make of this?
My husband was married before and has 2 boys from that marriage, this is my first child and were looking forward to the girl he said we were going to have. I feel torn up about this, I can not focus on anything else, it is like I am obsessed with a girl.
My husband said he knows it is is girl. He keep on telling me how much he loves me and Makayla and I must take good care of his girl etc. It is starting to drive me insane, because what if I give birth and it is a boy?
everything is so pretty now and all ready for my Makayla. I spoke to my midwife and she said it is very difficult now to be accurate with the sex, due to the fact that the baby is all cramped up and ready to enter the world.
What must I do?
Answer 383 views
Expert
CyberShrink
cybershrink

01 Jan 0001

Dear Sam,
he fact is that it is extremely difficult to be sure, in advance, whether the infant-to-be is a boy or a girl. In the old days, at least you had no particular expectations that anyone could give you an acurate answer, so you didn't look for one, unless you chose to rely on Old Wives Tales. Now, with sonar and other techniques, it is sometimes possible to get a reasonably good idea of the sex of the unborn child, but it's still far more hit-and-miss than accurate --- not because of lack of skill of the doctors, but because of the inherent inaccuracy of the methods used. You can check it out with Gynaedoc, but as I understand it ( having not practised obstetrics for some years ) there are occasions when the image seen on a scan does suggest that one is seeing a penis, and one may guess that this could be a boy baby. But of course, it is very easy NOT to see one, even if it is there ; as the picture is not very clear, and the positions of the child vary greatly.
Now, it's unfortunate that in this situation where the two of you so strongly wanted a girl, that perhaps the doctor could have made it clearer that he was commenting on possibilities, and not able to give an answer with certainty. Isn't it worth siting down and talking through the issues, and coming to terms, together, with the important fact that what is certain is that you will be having a child together, a child who can bring you great joy and for whom you can provide love and care. Should the sex of the child ( not it's decision, or yours ) really be allowed to decide how welcome he or she will be in the world and in your family ?
The information provided does not constitute a diagnosis of your condition. You should consult a medical practitioner or other appropriate health care professional for a physical examination, diagnosis and formal advice. Health24 and the expert accept no responsibility or liability for any damage or personal harm you may suffer resulting from making use of this content.