Ask an expert
Question

13 Jul 2005

Should I be worried?!!!
Yes - it's me. The one who is being harassed by the IT guy at work only this time IT IS ANOTHER GUY!

I met a man out on Sat night - friendly chat that's it! I was getting so annoyed talking to him I cut him short and went home. He asked for my number but I said I would take his (obviously without EVER intending on calling him)!

He phoned me now and I asked how he got my number. He remembered my surname and phoned my father's company asking for my details! I did not know what to say to that. I cut him short and he said he'll call me tomorrow.

What's worse is that he tried twice to call my sister at work today! He knows she has a boyfriend so I think he is trying to get to me through her! I DO NOT KNOW THIS GUY AT ALL!

This is really scaring me! I have a bad feeling about him. I do not know how much he knows about me because he has obviously been asking around! My first instinct is to insist that he never contacts me again and that I didn't want to give him the wrong impression!

Please help me! What should I do?
Answer 325 views
Expert
CyberShrink
cybershrink

01 Jan 0001

You know, I may sound like Lady Bracknell in Oscar Wilde's The Importance of Being Earnest ( in her famous line, hearing that a suitor was an orphan, when she said :" To lose one parent might be regarded as misfortune, but to lose both sounds like dowbright carelessness") --- to run into one guy bent on sexual harrassment is unfortunate ; to find two within a month sounds like it'd also be worth examining whether there is some way in which you are especially vulnerable in this regard, in finding such men and somehow indicating to them that this is worth trying on ? Obviously, nobody wants to attract creeps, but some of us manage it more readily than others.
This guy is at least a creep, and is sinister in the devious ways he is using to try to get to you, without apparently having received any particular encouragement from him. This sounds eerily like early stalking, and Elsie is probably right about telling him clearly and pleasantly but firmly that you don't like what he is doing and you don't want a relationship with him, and will take steps such as a restraining order if he doesn't leave you alone.
And Maxi takes up my opening point --- maybe you open yourself too readily to strange men who you really don't know at all, before finding out enough about them to be able to decide whether they're the sort you would want to get to know, at all.
It sounds as though you told him FAR, far too much about yourself before knowing enough about him --- why on earth tell him about your father's busienss, or even that you have a sister ? And what on earth is your dad, or anyone in his company, doing, foolishly handing out your phone number to an unknown caller ? Aren't you, even if you don't realize it, being too encouraging towards men you don't like ?
The information provided does not constitute a diagnosis of your condition. You should consult a medical practitioner or other appropriate health care professional for a physical examination, diagnosis and formal advice. Health24 and the expert accept no responsibility or liability for any damage or personal harm you may suffer resulting from making use of this content.
Voting Booth
Have you entered our Health of the Nation survey?
Please select an option Oops! Something went wrong, please try again later.
Results
Yes
33% - 9326 votes
No
67% - 18773 votes
Vote