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17 Mar 2003

Should i confess to my affair ???
Yes i have made the worst mistake of my life, i had an affair which lasted a few months.

Now i am suffering from guilt and self dissipointment and just cannot be happy knowing of my wrong doing, i cannot even look my wife in the eyes without thinking about it. All I want to do is tell my wife what happened to get it of my shoulders and so that she knows all l my secrets but she will divorce me for sure.

I do love my wife and want to be with her and think that we have a great future together. No it will not happen again, i have bumped my head so hard and never want to go though this again.

Should i live my secret or confess and be true to her and myself and loose her for ever ? the bible says "thy shall not commit an adultery" and that divorce is a sin "through goodness and bad, till death do us part"

Honest opinions please.
Answer 475 views
Expert
CyberShrink
cybershrink

01 Jan 0001

Dear Bob,
Let's see what the others say about this.
I suppose my main question would be this --- are you thinking of telling her for her sake and for her bnefit ? Or simply in order to make you, yourself, feel better ? In other words, is this a selfless or a selfish impulse ?
Yes, affairs are wrong, and seldom bring lasting joy to anyone. And maybe you have learned an important lesson and will make sure you never stray again. Perhaps preventing any recurrance, and working on more effective love towards your wife, may be more important than "telling" simply for it's own sake ? On the other hand, if it s likely that she will find out about the affair anyway, it would be better to tell her yourself, so as to choose a time and setting, to minimize the hurt she would feel, and to be available to explain and discuss it, rather than to leave her to discover the facts on her own, or from someone telling her for malicious reasons, and without support
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