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22 Nov 2005

so pointless
Hi Cs

My father shot himself last night ..... he was 68 and very ill ....i cant understand why euthanisia isnt allowed , i could then have sat with him. this way he was alone , and i cant imagine what must have gone through his mind to have driven him to take his own life .

In a funny way im not surprised , he was such a strong , proud man , im more surprised he kept going as long as he did.

what has hurt so deeply tho is how pointless his life seemed to have been , he came from a horrible background , he managed to claw his way into some form of respectability , he had a drinking problem , we battled financially ..... all this and now he is gone.... whats the point ???

he was a fantactic father tho , and a father to my kids , whose own father isa total $%$ hole , my hubby is their best friend .

this has frightened me cs .. i dont want to get to his age , only to want to end my life .....
Answer 343 views

01 Jan 0001

Dear Carol,
I am deeply sorry to hear about this, and please accept our deepest condolences to you and your family. What a shock to you all. Odd, but I was recently tempted to ask you how he was doing, as you had told us about him way back in your Limpopo sdays when you were thinking of moving to Durban, and you hadn't mentioned him since then. Wasn't there some unpleasant other woman involved somewhere along the line ?
Remember him as the fantastic father he was --- all the good he ever did is now held in the past, safely unchangeable, as if preserved in amber. He will always be that man he was then. It is by no means anyone's destiny to end in the same way ; and you especially seem a differently robust character. As Dylan Thomas wote, "Do not go gently into that good night ; Rage, rage, against the dying of the light..."
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