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15 Jun 2011

Step family and money
We got married in January ths year. My husband is a divocee with two children and the reason to end the marriage ws because the ex was cheating on him. I also have a child from a previous relationship. My husband''s finances is a mess, he''s got every loan you can think of. I have non and as a result I bring more money than him. The ex wife is working but she is nt paying even a cent towards the upbringing of the girls. She is going around telling everybody that I will pay everything for her kids because I chose to marry her husband. In the beginning I did not mind to assist my husband here and there towards their fees and other things but now I have decided that I will not do anything for them so that my husband forces her to at least pay maintenance for them. My husband was granted the custody on grounds that he will do everything for the girls. He tried to talk to the ex wife and she refused to contrbute on their upbringing telling my husband that he said he was going to do all for them. Please advice me, should I just turn a blind eye and help my husband with the kids or should I just concentrate on my child? I have really neglected my child and her needs because now all of a sudden, instead of getting one bicycle, I have to get three and my child is not used to not her needs being attended to. My husband also thinks that my child fees are very high and I need to take her to where his kids are so that they alll grow together, I don''t like their school.
Answer 385 views
Expert
CyberShrink
cybershrink

01 Jan 0001

Why not have a maintenance court decide what each parent should contribute to the children's costs - and that may help to remind her that her personal bitterness ( especially if she were the guilty and cheating party in the divorce ) doesn't justify expecting an innocent party like you, to pay the expenses of her children. DId he get into so much debt through general financial foolishness, or for particular reasons ? And does he have a ealistic plan, with good advice, for getting out of debt asap ?
Don't leave it to him to "force her" to pay towards her children's maintenance - that can become the court's job. She is not entitled to decide who will contribute what.
There's no reason all 3 kids should go to the same school.
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