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01 Dec 2004

Still being foolish?
Please help me - to the Cybershrik and to Paris - thanks for your replies earlier - he has just come now to my office and we spoke outisde for an hour - he was crying telling me that i need to believe that he never slept with anyone else - I have been with him for two years and he never uses a condom to masturbate which i asked him about and he says that he does that now cos if he doesnt use a condom to masturbate then he gets sores on his penis - why did he come here ? Cos he feels guilty or cos he genuinely is telling the truth - I am so angry and frustrated and sad inside because in reality i will never know the true story and how can u be in a relationship with someone u cant trust ? he keeps saying that i am must look at the fact that he keeps coming back to me because he loves me - i can also see the other side - he keeps coming back cos it gives him a roof over his head and everything is taken care for him so why not have me and still mess around - are all relationships this pathetic and so questioning? why cant it be that when someone loves u - they love u - no games, no questioning, wonderin feeling insecure - please help me to understand why he is so adamant to convince me he was telling the truth
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Expert
CyberShrink
cybershrink

01 Jan 0001

Hi Pauline --
And Paris, I know exactly how you feel --- till I reconfigured by system to be a bit more reliable, I found I often wrote a brilliant response, hit "Upload" and it got lost --- and it's remarkably difficult to respond after that, as the lost message seems impossible brilliant, and anything else one says, inadequate, compared to the One that Got Away !
Back to you, Pauline. Like Paris, I have never heard of a man who gets sores from masturbating, unless he does it daily and for many, many hours at a time. And using a condom yould not be a useful protection, and might even make it worse. That just does not make sense. If he got sores, well, there are many easy ways to get sores from having sex with other people, far easier than by masturbating, which would require far too much hard work ( pun intended ) for a guy like this ! Sore, yes, possibly, as Shaun describes, but not "sores".
Like Paris, I'd worry about this extreme contrition and tears. It could indeed be the response of an honest guy awfully misunderstood and desperate to convince you -- but it'd really only be convincing if he had already made independent arrangements so that he didn't actually NEED you for accomodation and financial support, etc., and was then clearly responding only to the emotional situation.
If you give him no roof over his head, etc. --- would he still be so desperate to get back into the relationship with you ?
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