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09 Dec 2005

Still confused...
I just spoke to him and told him we must rather break up than cheat on each other (emotional cheating included). He denied being unfaithfull in any way and said because we havent been spending alot of time together lately he does feel like affection is lacking in the relationship. He said he loved me and dont mind speding hours sorting all possible issues in the relationship out...
I cheated on him once about 5 months ago, much to this degree, he found out and forgave me. I've never cheated on a bf before, so I felt so incredibly bad for what I did. I broke it off with the other guy (we never touched or anything, it was just email conversations like the ones he's having now.) So I can't really be pointing fingers. But the difference is that I owned up to it and humbled myself completely and repented 100% while suffering through the hurt with him. I will never cheat again...

There is absolutely no other way that I couldve found out no. If I mention it, he will know, cause the last time he caught me snooping in his email and since then he's changed his access passwords etc. The only way I got ahold of his email is cause I had the technical knowledge on how to crack a password.
Im too ashamed to admit I snooped, the last time I felt crap for days and Im not losing my dignity like that again.
Thanks for all the advice, I might take it and just mention her name to him, thats it. But, still I know the only way Im gona get closure is to get an explanation from him. I will never get closure if I just had to break up with him without him knowing that I know he did wrong.
As im writing this I realize that this relationship has passed the expiry date...
I just need to do that one last thing and get an explanation from him, for him to be caught out and realize what he did/is doing to me, just like I had to. And now to figure out a way to do it...
Answer 362 views

01 Jan 0001

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