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18 Feb 2009

Stressed mom to be
my fiancee and I planned to start trying for a baby from December 2008. As of then i stopped taking my contraceptive. He is not working and has been staying at my house. a few weeks back we found out I am pregnant. Two months pregnant. Since then our relationship has deteriorated. We had regular fights, maily because he does not want a 8 - 5 job, he has no experience but wants only a managerial position, he keeps secrets, he uses my car and does not want to tell me what he does all day, and on weekends he expects me to stay home while he take my car, to go wherever he wants to go, but would not tell me where he is going, these all cause conflicts between us because I feel it' s unfair. I went away on a work assignment, when I came back, i found he has moved out with all his things. now whenever I call him, he either does not take my calls or switches off his phone. The only thing frustrating me is what should I do? Why does he walk out nowwhen I am pregnant. I have been there for him for as long as I can remember. should i let him go and have the baby on my own, or I don' t think I am strong enough to go through an abortion, and I don' t want him to think he can walk in and out of my life whenever he pleases because of the baby. please advise...what should I do? I always thought things will get better, but now I am kicking myself why in the first place did I stay and now how do I get out?:
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Expert
CyberShrink
cybershrink

01 Jan 0001

Maybe this wasn't exactly the very best time to be trying for a pregnancy ---clearly, your relationship wasn't secure enough to handle it, and he doesn't sound mature enough to make the neesary committment yet. Babies are not glue --- they don't heal or stick together a faltering relationship. He also sounds wildly, almost childishly, unealistic in his life expectations. He don't fancy an 8 to 5 job ? Tough ! If that's what's available, and it is for most of us, then he's lucky to have a job a all. With few if any qualifications and no experience, he expects to be in management ? What makes him think anyone would want an inexperienced and big-headed manager ? No wonder h's not working. But he expects you to support him, to use your car, and not to reveal what he does all day instead of honest work ? You are probably very lucky he has moved out, or you would have had 2 babies to deal with, him and the newborn one ; but go to a maintenance court and ensure that he is required by the court to pay maintenance for the child.
And see a counsellor to help you cope with this situation.
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