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04 Apr 2007

Terrible 3'ssss???
Overnite my usually happy-go-lucky 3yrd old daughter has turned into a tantrum throwing, whiney, nightmare! When we collect her from my mom's on a Friday (she stays with my mom during the wk due to our long working hrs) she kicks, screams & refuses to go. I am torn between wanting her with me & forcing her to do something she obviously doesnt want to. On the other hand, if i give in once she will expect this as the norm. When we drop her off at the end of the weekend, we go through the same story. My mom says that she is just as bad during the week - crying if her hair isnt brushed the way she wants it, not wanting to go to creche some mornings, when her friends come to play & its to time for them to leave she throws tantrums. She is really trying my patience & smacking her everytime just doesnt feel right. How do I handle this????
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Expert
CyberShrink
cybershrink

01 Jan 0001

Remarkable, isn't it, how rapidly they can shift from one phase to another ? But as RMC says, what's needed is a consistent plan of simple measures that always work to control unruly behavior --- watch Supernanny on DSTV channel 40. Never give in to the tantrums --- time out room or space, reward chart ( and bad behaviours lose progress towards desirable rewards ), clear simple rules well explained. and loads of love and attention whenever she, even accidentally, is behaving well, such attention withdrawn when she behaves badly. The bad behaviour must NOT be made rewarding. Smacking doesn't work, as even a smack is attention acceptable to some kids really keen to gain and keep your attention --- it does not produce consistent desirable behaviour
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