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20 Aug 2007

The End.
Good day to all

So I moved this weekend, just me with a bakkie and 2 boys, I picked up from the stopstreet. Not easy but it's done.

I am amazed at Ne she's taken so well to the new "hose", her room I made extra pretty with fairies ect...yesterday when I went to G's house to collect the last stuff she refused to get out the bakkie and said "kak hose"....she just would not get out.

Not once during the move did she ask after the kids or g or where they would sleep or anything! And she still has not. Yesterday when he came to fetch the bakkie and the kids came she was glad to see them but when they left she said nothing or asked nothing....I stayed longer than I should have because I thought she'd not understand or would miss them...she takes her "hondjie" for walks and to pee-pee and her life seems ok!

Friday night we went out for "the last time" had a great evening, I just smiled when I saw him eating my garlic from the garlic snails and how we finished each others sentences ect.....I do love him and I've grown very fond of him...but if I never had to see those kids i would not mind...

I can honestly say I walk out of this relationship having TRIED IT ALL there is nothing more I could have done or tried....he want's to work 7days a week,therapy did not help what's the point going to a Shrink and not following the advice? In any case......I won't be lonely im use to no parther till 9pm and then it's just the kids kids kids....so now I have routine back in my life and can spend all my energy on Charne...

Cs, I'd like to ask your opinion on the idea of staying "friends" ?? Is is really possible ? and do you think a "clean break" is the best ? Would still seeing each other for whatever reason (without any kids) be a good or bad thing?

I must say we split everything nicely and we talked when one wanted what the other had ext, not one of us did the other in and he gave me all the money I needed for a depost ect.

I just dont know if I should allow him still in my life and what purpose would it serve as i'll never live with him and his kids again especially knowing the smallest one still has 12 years of schooling ect...

Is it not better to let it just be completely over?

CS I'D APPRECIATE YOUR HONEST OPINION = YOU'VE KNOWN ME LONG ENOUGH..

Thanks again
Love Mom

Answer 380 views
Expert
CyberShrink
cybershrink

01 Jan 0001

Interesting how much Ne seems to have recognized about what has been going on, from the sound of it.
You tried hard. Maybe he did, too, in his way, but it has for some time sounded as though he couldn't quite find the courage to make necessary changes. It appears that you have parted amicably, which is mature of both of you. Whether or not you can manage to remain friends, I really can't tell. What would be the aim of such a friendship, if you had already decided it will not lead to reconciliation and a eturn to the situation you have just left ? Can you both enjoy some mutual friendship, support, and maybe each have some time to be comfortable with each other, and continue with your own otherwise separate lives ?
Maybe a cleaner break will be more confortable for both of you. have you perhaps discussed this with him, as whichever mode of separation you choose, both of you need to accept and stick to it
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