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21 Aug 2007

To Hope....
Hi thank you for sharing your story with me. Like you said when you answered my first posting "it was liking reading your life" . Your posting was like reading my life!! I am not a very religious person, but I have suddenly develop a guilty conscience towards God too!! Husband has asked me to go to a Church Marraige seminar. The problem is, is that on the last day you have to renew your wedding vows. I don't see how you can spend 20 hours at a seminar and everything must be sorted out and wham bam we renew our wedding vows!!! And i actually had the guts to tell him I am prepared to go but not on the last day!!. I have now left it in his hands if he accepts that then fine if not then that is fine too!!
My biggest problem is that it feels like my life is passing by and i'm not participating in it, cause i'm waiting for some sign some answer and of course because I don't want to do anything with him anymore and I feel guilty towards him if I don't include him so now I choose not to do anything!!! And it's like a chain reaction, because i feel nothing is changing for me, i get frustrated and my anger is starting to affect my kids!!! It's just such a difficult decision to make and in our relationship he was always the one who made the decisions, (except about the kids because he wasn't involved with them.) So now I have to make a decision that is going to affect ALL our lives and I'm scared I make the biggest mistake of my life, which ever way I go!!!!!! But thank you once again I will keep you up to date
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Expert
CyberShrink
cybershrink

01 Jan 0001

Personally, I am deeply sceptical both of "seminars" as a valid or effective way of solving problems ( when they cannot by definition deal with the specifics of each individual mperson involved ), and also I have doubts about churches meddling in therapeuic areas, with people with no valid qualifications to do so. You wouldn't get married by a shrink, you shouldn't get therapy in a church.
Can't you refuse this specific way of dealing with the problems, but accept his intention to work on this issue, while insisting that the pair of you work directly with a good professional marriage counsellor, and not in a group and audience ?
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