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05 Mar 2003

To Mom2b - re unborn baby diagnosed with undeveloped arm and hand.
Dear Mom2b

I write this as a reply to your post, dated 26/02/2003, and not really as a question to the CyberShrink (additional input from him is, of course, a bonus always welcome and much appreciated).

I have a friend (my best for the past 28 years) who was born with exactly the same handicap as you anticipate your baby may have.
He comes from a large family of 9 boys & 6 girls. He is 2nd youngest and has turned out to be the most popular. They all visit him regularly and like to hold all family functions at his house.
He is the most amazing person I have ever known. He has an incredible ability not only to succeed at almost anything and everything that anybody else can do, but can do most of it even better! Everyone who has the privilege to meet with him, absolutely adores him. In our circle of friends, his handicap is completely transparent and is never thought of or even spoken about. He participates in most sporting activities (rugby, soccer, CRICKET, volleyball, SNOOKER, darts, fishing) and has won individual championship trophies for fishing and darts.
He is much stronger and far more nimble and in his normal arm & hand than most others who are not handicapped.
He can even carry more objects than the average person would do with both of their hands, earning himself the nicknames of “The almighty Hand” and “The Octopus”(the latter being his personal favourite). Yes, sometimes he would jest about it, encouraging us not to see it as something that we should pretend we cannot see, but rather as something that we acknowledge and accept, even to the extent where we can laugh about it. at times. He performs little tricks with “that arm” at parties, that gets people screaming with laughter. (I best not describe his naughty pranks on this forum)
He is a very practical person indeed and is an absolute inspiration to everyone around him, when and wherever there is work to be done.

One exception – he sings terribly “out of tune” when I play my guitar and it irritates the hell out of me !

Answer 431 views

01 Jan 0001

Dear Spooky --- bless you for making such a brilliantly helpful contribution, as I'm sure this is exactly the sort of example that will be splendidly helpful to Mom2B. Indeed, if, as I hope, she returns to our Forum and finds your excllent mesage, she may even want to consider arranging to meet with your friend. What you're describing is such a good example of how someone can triumph over a handicap that others would assume to be severely limiting --- it takes a combination of guts, wisdom, common sense, and a sense of humour, perhaps, but it's powerful stuff. You're lucky to have such a remarkable person as your friend --- and he's lucky to know you, too.
Oh, and I'm pleased to hear that he sings out of tune --- everyone deserves to do at least one thing really badly !
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